I wanted to take the time to personally explain what I am going through today, because some of you may not be aware of how my health condition has evolved.

For more than a year now, I have been going through a severe depression that has profoundly disrupted my life, my daily routine and the way I function. This period has unfortunately been marked by several very serious crises and eight suicide attempts over the past year. Some of these were particularly severe and required several days of hospitalization in intensive care, critical care and stabilization after shock.

I am not telling you this to worry you, to make you feel guilty, or to ask you to carry what I am going through. I simply want you to understand why my situation is now being taken very seriously by the professionals supporting me.

During my care, the clinicians also recently diagnosed me with borderline personality disorder (BPD).

BPD is a recognized psychiatric disorder. It is not simply being “too sensitive” or having difficulty managing emotions. It is a disorder that can deeply affect the way a person experiences their emotions, perceives themselves, builds relationships and reacts to events.

It can notably cause very great emotional instability, with extremely intense emotions that are sometimes hard to calm, a strong sensitivity to rejection or abandonment, a self-image that can be unstable, major relationship difficulties and a feeling of emptiness or deep distress.

It can also be associated with significant impulsivity, risky behaviors, episodes of intense anger, dissociative phenomena and, in some people, suicidal thoughts or self-harming behaviors. These manifestations are not the same for everyone and can change over time.

In my case, this diagnosis helps professionals better understand what I am going through and, above all, why, despite the treatment already received for my depression, I now need a different and much more specialized approach.

After evaluating my situation, the professionals caring for me determined that specialized treatment in France is necessary and better suited to my needs. In France there are facilities and teams specifically trained to treat BPD and to provide psychotherapies adapted to this disorder.

The goal is therefore not simply to go to France. I am going to get treatment.

I want to be able to benefit from this specialized support in order to work on my BPD, continue treatment for my depression, reduce crises and risky behaviors, better understand how I function and gradually learn to build a more stable life.

🤍 Why I'm creating this fundraiser

This project unfortunately represents a significant cost for me, notably to finance my plane ticket to France.

That is why I decided to ask my family and close friends to help me fund this departure.

My first goal is to raise enough money to buy my ticket. If donations exceed that amount, it would also allow me to have a small reserve for personal expenses and to take care of myself during this period, so I can fully focus on my treatment.

I know that everyone does not have the same financial means and I especially do not want anyone to feel obliged to contribute. Every donation, even small, will be a precious help. And for those who cannot give, sharing the fundraiser or simply sending a message of support will already mean a lot to me.

I am doing this because today I want to give myself a real chance to recover and to build the next stage of my life differently.

This trip represents for me much more than travel: it is an important step in my care journey, a chance to receive the help I need and to begin gradually rebuilding a more stable life.

Thank you to those who will take the time to read my story, to understand it and to support me in this step. ❤️